I realized something ironic yesterday. CrossFit™, an “evidence based fitness program” by their own account — and widely praised for it’s focus on “functional training” — is the most dysfunctional fitness program currently known to man (that has some meaningful level of popularity).
- Not operating normally or properly.
I base this on the premise that big C CrossFit has such a colossal, anti-reality, anti-health injury rate, that over a life time, one effectively has a 100% chance of suffering traumatic injury. One is virtually guaranteed to injure themselves practicing CrossFit — injure themselves in the pursuit of health, no less.
No matter the attention to detail, form, environment, personal skill, training, and even “good luck”.
The chance of injury — and let’s not even start on cumulative, difficult to observe, long-term damage — is so astronomically high, I am convinced it is appropriate to call CrossFit a fitness atrocity.
Running neck to neck with the former, joint-destroying, muscle wasting champion, cardio.
Guess what lies in store for 100% of long-term CrossFit “enthusiasts”?
Inevitable dysfunction of one’s joints, connective, bone, and skeletal muscle tissue. But hey! Maybe you’ll get lucky and suffer rhabdomyolysis before you do any permanent joint damage.
And there is your irony. The highly touted, absolutely unsustainable “functional fitness program” leads directly to serious, painful, incredibly consistent, and often permanent dysfunction.
The truth is, CrossFit is the fitness equivalent of Russian roulette, played with an unusually large, yet still finite revolver. Even with a 1,000 round capacity revolver, the day is coming when a bullet comes out.
The question is, are the players naive enough to keep pulling the trigger?
And the naysayers say …
The number one knee-jerk emotional response to the ideas above is that “all exercise comes with some risk of injury”. While technically true, this is an ignorant derailing of the argument, and has absolutely nothing to do with what I’m saying.
I’m not saying CrossFit is simply more dangerous than other available programs. I’m saying there are gross, systemic, widespread, fundamental contradictions in the program that make it an irrefutably stupid way to improve one’s health and level of “fitness”.
By my guesstemation, you have a better chance of winning a $300 million lottery ticket, than practicing CrossFit from ages 20-30, a *single* decade in a long life, and not getting injured.
A reader might now ask … what should I do then?
If anyone is asking this question, you are still not getting it. What you should go out and do is not important. It is much more important to first define what you should not do, something the entire movement of CrossFit is utterly fucking clueless on.
Truly, literally, walking is more functional than CrossFit.
Now, for your viewing pleasure. (Caution : may disturb some viewers).
(photo credit : http://gawker.com/5928989/)