This is in a way a follow up to Love – No Contradictions Possible. In fact I may just make a series out of this and shred contradictions to pieces in a variety of fields.
The premise we are told to accept in dating is this: the women you admire cannot be the women you desire. In application, this means any woman who would sleep with you right off the bat is not a woman worthy of a relationship of any real significance – her actions and choices remove her from such possibility.
Even if you would not have had your initial interaction with her go any other way – which reveals the contradiction. You got what you (both) wanted, and because you succeeded in your efforts, future success is no longer possible.
Or, in another sense: because you BOTH won, now, you both lose.
Guys who proclaim this shit (not knowing the real meaning of their proclamations) are the same guys getting frustrated with “LMR”, or girls suddenly not wanting to have sex with them.
Wrap your head around that: only if a woman behaves in a way you do not approve of, is she worthy of relationship potential.
Only if your relationship begins with conflict is it worthy of continuing.
Pain, suffering, and frustration 101 to be sure.
I mean seriously, in what way does this sound even remotely healthy?
Who thinks this shit up!?
I mention this because I recently had this experience, and then a distant friend mentioned this concept to me (that because a girl slept with me the first night we met, I should question dating her).
I knew right away this was very stupid, because I would have had our initial interaction go no other way than how it did – which ended with us fucking.
What’s more, both of us made this decision on the best of our judgments – that this was in fact a good decision at the time, and as long range as either of us cared to consider at the time – neither of us being under the influence of any sort of drug (as most of you know, I don’t even drink, ever), nor even, was this a quick decision.
I enjoyed spending time with this woman, and as such, I was in no rush to have sex. I would actually go so far as to say I enjoyed spending time with her that night, specifically because it was a form of teasing her and building a lot of tension.
Which is to say, that contrary to “popular belief” (what the fuck does that even mean?), rational men are not like light switches.
Men might be more inclined to behave and respond in this manner due to cultural programming, but make no mistake, passion, tension, and sex being a “mind blowing” experience are traits experienced primarily as an individual — your gender then being the physical and psychological filter behind that.
Only a primitive brute, man or woman, would attempt to detach and remove their sexuality from the continuum it normally and naturally exists on. To think that men experience sex merely as an “on/off” switch, I am sorry to say, is quite fucking stupid, for all parties involved.
In conclusion, and in the words of Sasha Daygame, don’t be a fag.
In dating, in whatever medium, and like anything else that exists in reality, no contradictions are possible. And when you try to force one into reality, you suffer unnecessarily.
By the way, it is worth noting that reality is black and white, and none of what I have stated above contradicts that. I am simply stating that men do not experience sex (an act), or their sexuality (as it relates to self-concept), on a binary system, other than in (obvious) gender related aspects.
These things exist and happen on a scale, from high to low, not on/off, which still makes it very much black and white.
— Anthony Dream Johnson