It’s common for people to proclaim that they don’t care what others think. Conventionally, it’s almost seen as a badge of confidence or honor.
I don’t care what other people think of me (or X). See? I’m cool!
In most cases I don’t think this is true though.
The person proclaiming this, to themselves, others, or both, is lying. They do care what others think on some level and to some degree. It would be the rare individual that truly doesn’t.
I’m not even sure that it’s healthy to completely detach yourself from that care.
To the contrary, and to be completely honest, I do care what other people think on important topics, and even, of me.
The difference between me and your average joe however is that I care about what I think *more* than every and any other person on earth.
And I don’t mean this figuratively or metaphorically, I mean it literally, and to the extent that most people would consider it “monstrous”, “narcissistic”, or any number of other derogatory terms regurgitated out of the blue.
I really do care what I think more than what you think, the next guy, and the next 6.999999 billion people.
And I think this is the only real way to achieve the net effect of “not caring what other people think”. You stop trying to achieve that, and you turn your attention to your own judgement, and the value it has in your life.
It’s supreme value, above all others, in all respects, to the highest degree possible.
So sure I care about what other people think.
The difference is, I always care about my judgments ****more**** than yours, or any sum of people for that matter.
This is what it means to truly ”stand on your own judgement”.
To the point that it so utterly and obviously absolute, that it terrifies observers who stand on the judgement, and the minds of others.
I stand on my own, completely and absolutely. My judgement, my thoughts, are supreme in the total course of my life.
I recommend you do the same.
To do anything else would be to live as a second-hander. Independence of action begins with independence of thought, and is a virtue everyone can and should cultivate in themselves. Well said, my friend.
thanks!
Hey you make it sound easy but some people are so clever and cunning in their social skills that they try to make you care what they think. Does this also apply to pretty women? I am 22 and young and I care what others think because it usually impacts me directly see if I do something unsociable people gossip and it hurts me. What is the balance here?
Gossip can only hurt your social standing with people who give value to gossip. If you were to consider gossip worthless these situations would have no effect on you. Logically you would need to learn to not care about gossip, which is a part of not caring what others think about you. Gossip doesn’t hurt you directly, it’s the effect gossip has on people that affects your life, and it only does so until you learn that it doesn’t have to and how to stop caring about it.
Well, it’s simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Trusting yourself and caring about your judgement above all others takes hard work, effort, and conscious, active living.
It’s definitely not for the lazy.
And yes, it applies to everyone. Caring what you think above and before all others has nothing to do with your gender (even if your sex presents specific and unique challenges).
If any of what you said was true you would probably keep it to yourself. With that said, I think its great that you think for yourself. But when those thoughts become advice given publicly I think its only fair that they be subject to cross examination. Lots of people have ideas and theories Its the vetting of them that helps us find the truth.
Yes, a good idea is only good if I keep it to myself.
Reality is dependent on my blogging efforts.
So much for objective reality.