The Relationship Talk That Changed My Life

As I type this I’m at my girlfriend’s house. Simple as that fact may be, I’m almost speechless, because it is the ultimate testimony to the efficacy of Sock’s speech (link) on interpersonal relationships, and it is a profoundly personal one.

I briefly showed this speech to my girlfriend, and I don’t even think she believes me — that if it were not for this speech, I would not be dating her right now. It really was that pivotal.

But was it the primary cause?

No, the prime mover for manifesting the relationship, qua my own life, was me. This does not undermine the fact however, that the single biggest key to unlocking what I had already built in my own character, was this speech, it’s speaker, and his ideas.

His psychology pertaining to committed, long term, intimate relationships.


I know this may come as a shock to many of you, and I would like to verify by reviewing his work before stating this more concretely, but this speech is tantamount to what David Deida could have been and could have written in The Way of the Superior Man.

The ideas presented in this speech are the conclusions man comes to when he applies reason to his relationships — nothing being above reason, including all forms of human relationships. The specifics may differ from individual to individual, but the fundamentals are present and by my judgement, accurately identified in this speech to a wide range and even greater depth.

This presentation is in essence, what Nathaniel Branden would be delivering if he were still in his prime — author of The Psychology of Romantic Love.


Taking a small step back, this speech, that I watched many times over as soon as I received a rough copy, has quite literally, changed my life. The physical location at which I am publishing this post adds a tremendous amount of weight to this — and the urgency at which you need to watch this speech if the concept “intimate relationship” is of even the slightest interest to you.

— Anthony Dream Johnson

About Anthony Dream Johnson

CEO, founder, and architect of The 21 Convention, Anthony Dream Johnson is the leading force behind the world's first and only "panorama event for life on earth". He has been featured on WGN Chicago, and in the NY Times #1 best seller The Four Hour Work Week.    His stated purpose for the work he does is "the actualization of the ideal man", a purpose that has led him to found and host The 21 Convention across 3 continents and for 6 years in a row. Anthony blogs vigorously at and

12 Responses to The Relationship Talk That Changed My Life

  1. sanjay October 18, 2011 at 1:31 am #

    haha awesome definitely watching this

  2. Andrew October 18, 2011 at 10:35 am #


    I’m a big fan of your vibe man, but my one criticism of this post is it’s just a little weird linking a picture of your girl on the beach! I’ll be checking out the talk though for sure.


    • Anthony Dream Johnson October 18, 2011 at 2:09 pm #


      Eh, I figured it would be more inspiring than posting a picture of us just standing together.


      It may make more sense to clarify that this is my first relationship. Shes not just a girlfriend, she’s the first.

  3. Matt October 18, 2011 at 2:52 pm #

    It was interesting to me that you found this speech so transformational. As someone who as always viewed the core of pickup as communication, and the purpose of that communication as intimate connection, this speech was both superfluous and a bit simplistic.

    That’s not a knock on Sock, the speech, or you… just an interesting observation about the different places people come from.

    • Anthony Dream Johnson October 18, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

      Not following exactly. Were you speaking of my views on pickup, yours, or Socks’s? Can’t tell via the comment alone.

      • Matt October 18, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

        I was speaking of my views… although it’s clear Sock has similar views. Coming at pickup from this perspective, and being familiar with the mainstream material on communication, most of the content and mindset in this speech is second nature if not a step backwards.

  4. MikeG October 18, 2011 at 10:09 pm #

    I agree with Matt, if you started with older guys in puadom like Mystery/ RJ/ Deangelo then this might help a great deal. It seems like it would help the most for guys that still say dhv and microcalibration

  5. xavier October 19, 2011 at 2:08 am #

    sock is the man, you are still gay, and so is DBZ.

  6. ~Sock! October 19, 2011 at 5:05 pm #


    You’re right. The vast majority of the material can be gleamed from mainstream sources, and I stated as much. That’s not the problem. The problem is that most guys haven’t a clue that it exists, been exposed to any of it, let alone have it as part of their basic interpersonal skill make-up. In many ways they should have been taught much of this by their parents, older siblings or friends… but there’s a massive gap here… guys are not getting the information they need to make better decisions for themselves, nor a culture to support that. That and they would have to do the hard leg work of assembling it all and sorting out irrelevant from relevant with little social or personal experience to guide the way.

    The other aspect to all this is that much of PUA culture scorns this material, concept (developing relationships) and individuals looking to pursue them. Look at what PUA culture focus’s on… Where do guys turn to if they want basic relationship advice, feminism?

    I thought it was pretty clear from in my talk I wasn’t coming from a pick-up perspective and didn’t once bring up a single aspect of how to pick a chick up… Furthermore the title of the talk was ‘A Contrarian Point of View’ and when taken into account that several of the speakers and historically the 21 Convention started out with a PUA focus, I didn’t expect anyone to see my speech as relating to pick-up, as historically pickup hasn’t been about communication but attraction and manners in which to generate it… Perhaps it has much to do with the span of time spent within the community, as it evolved quite a bit and if you’re coming into it on the tail end it has vastly developed more along the line of communication rather than attraction based, but that wasn’t always the case and still isn’t in my view.

    Considering that the responses from all the attendees was overwhelming positive and generated several days as additional inquiries expanding on many of the issues and themes presented, what exactly were you expecting and would consider a step forward? You didn’t give any input other than personal commentary. It would be intriguing to hear your thoughts on which ideas, concepts and issues would have been more relevant for a 20-something to hear from a guy in his forties…


    • Matt October 20, 2011 at 12:06 am #

      Hey Sock,

      Again, this wasn’t a knock on you, or your speech. I think it’s great that people are starting to talk about actual communication skills and how these relate to creating real relationships.

      I’ve been into this stuff since 2007… not sure where that fits in on your scale of where the pickup community is, but I agree it’s definitely not where it needs to be, and have advocated since I’ve been a part of this for the importance of skills like listening, assertiveness, and having boundaries.

      I was merely commenting here that it was interesting to me that there’s people like Anthony out there who find this information life changing.

      For me, I would have been much more interested in a bit more in depth topics like how to keep a relationship fresh, dealing with jealousy, managing a life and a girlfriend seamlessly, messing around with polyamory or open relationships… other things that come up when you have the basics of communication and being centered handled. But if there were a lot of guys who got value form this talk, that one may not have been the right one for the audience.

  7. Oliver October 21, 2011 at 4:04 pm #

    Fella he only had an hour or so not 10 hours. I thought it was quite a wise talk on the subject stuffed into a tight time frame. I mean, you imagine a guy with no prior relationship knowledge do you not think this talk would enlighten him? There’s only one answer to that question anyway, i’m just trying to point out that your being unnecessarily critical.


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