In spite of the diet I have practiced for well over 3 years now (which I’ll discuss in a moment), I’ve never been very interested in getting blood work done. My thinking has always been, why should I care about results that even the people taking or requesting them don’t understand.
Point blank: if a health practitioner does not truly understand what the results mean, or even what influences them up/down/left/right or center, why is the test even worth getting in the first place?
Not to mention, I was absent an actual problem that would motivate me to have these tests done. I’m 23 years old and in observably perfect health, with the exception of a damaged left knee (traumatic injury/high school football).
Anyway, after Keith decided to get his blood work done, my curiosity was peaked, and I decided I would at some point soon get the blood work done, at the very least to make an interesting blog post or two.
Here are the results.
Now, well known to long time TDL readers, the interesting “twist” to all of this is the “lubing my arteries with butter” bit.
This is a saying I took on a few months ago and it has stuck with me since. It’s something I say when people raise an eyebrow in person to the copious amounts of saturated fat I eat.
- a dozen whole eggs
- an entire stick of butter (picture of my typical shopping cart)
- large chunks of steak fat
- spoon fulls of coconut oil
- the fact that I go through half & half like it’s water
and so on and so forth. I never, ever hesitate to eat saturated fat, and typically the cholesterol that comes with it.
I get hungry, I consider that real food, I eat it, end of story.
I just happen to find telling people my heart is like a car engine that needs butter as oil, intensely amusing =D.
A Look at the Numbers
For those who don’t care to scan through the documents, here are some numbers for ya. Keep in mind, these results are a one time snapshot into my blood, and we will assume (in the context of a single snapshot), these numbers were accurately taken and calculated.
So not only is this a single slice, it’s a slice that may not even be accurate in and of itself, or even calculated properly in some respects (relevant to my diet that is well outside of the norm — low in carbohydrate, very high in fat, especially saturated).
Taken on a 14 hour dietary fast and 72+ hour “exercise fast”,
- Total cholesterol: 256
- Triglycerides: 72
- HDL : 78
- VLDL: 14
- LDL: 164
- Glucose level: 91
My “total cholesterol” is significantly high, but, I seriously doubt this has a negative meaning. In fact, from my understanding, and to a large degree, higher total cholesterol = more protection against disease. The “upper limit” being 200 is basically a bunch of nonsense.
- My triglycerides are very low.
- Pushing 80, my HDL is very high.
- My VLDL is very low.
- My LDL is significantly high, but I seriously doubt this has a negative meaning, and apparently this measurement can be way off.
- My glucose level seems pretty spot on.
What I did find interesting compared to Keith is that my “eGFR” was dramatically higher than his in both measurement scenarios provided. A quick search revealed this has something to do with my kidneys.
These numbers were almost exactly what I expected. Ultra high “probably good” stuff, ultra low “probably bad” stuff, high total.
Of course, by all conventional wisdom accounts — like the American Heart Association as one example — I should be dead. Seriously. I am doing almost every single thing wrong they, your nearest medical doctor, and your nearest licensed dietitian can list, and I’ve done so for going on 41 months straight now.
I’ve gone months on end eating 30-40 whole eggs a week. I eat more butter in a given month than most people eat in a year. I use nothing but heavy cream or half/half in my coffee. I add salt to almost everything I eat. After adding a table spoon of coconut oil to my protein shake, I make sure to suck down a table spoon straight, just for good luck.
Oh, and I exercise about 15 minutes a week. If that.
I don’t do “cardio”. I don’t focus on “burning calories”. I actually lift weights for ~15 minutes every 7-14 days, and that’s it.
Bottom line: by conventional standards, and with all of the extra factors aside (like exercise), I’ve eaten enough saturated fat and cholesterol over the past 3+ years to give an elephant a heart attack.
Yet, I’m healthier than the next thousand 23 year olds you line up, including on the numbers I should be doing the worst at.
I do everything ‘wrong’, yet end up getting everything right.
Call to Action
While this should not be taken as medical advice, I recommend — for entertainment purposes only — lubing your arteries with grass fed high quality butter on a regular basis, and washing it down with raw egg yolk in a whey shake, with some coconut oil.
Lube it up!
— Anthony Dream Johnson