How to Watch Your Kids Get Beat up
A terrible guide on tolerating aggravated child abuse
What’s up man, welcome back to your favorite newsletter.
It’s no secret at this stage that I came from a fairly large (6), intact family, that also suffered from chronic and severe problems. Namely drug abuse, domestic violence, and related domestic abuse.
All of this escalated out of control - to shockingly obscene levels - over the many decades. Nearly half a century in fact.
Slowly morphing into a variety of mental illnesses such as:
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Bipolar disorder
Manic depression
Schizophrenia
Borderline personality disorder
Antisocial personality disorder
When I began studying cluster B personality disorders and other dangerous personalities in the late 2010s I very quickly realized that my father met and surpassed (with flying colors) the Hare Psychopathy Checklist used by law enforcement agencies.
This culminated in retired FBI special agent Joe Navarro speaking at the ten year anniversary of my event, the manosphere super bowl, The 21 Convention. Navarro spent decades working in the FBI as a criminal profiler focused on what he terms dangerous personalities.
He did this at the highest level of law enforcement, focused on some of the most dangerous criminals in America.
I asked him to speak specifically because of the dangers young men face in dating today with female psychopaths and borderlines.
Dangerous personalities is a clever and effective term to sidestep the ever evolving diagnostic minutia and simply focus on teaching people to stay the hell away from abusive people and relationships.
Whether an abuser is a psychopath, sociopath, or borderline doesn’t really matter to the average person. What matters is that you get the hell away from that cluster B cluster fuck and stay away.
My mother of course never did that. She was Roman Catholic and refused to divorce even under horrific circumstances of relentless violence and abuse. This is why I said her marrying my father was probably the largest mistake of her life.
Their wedding day marked a decisive turning point in her life and through a long chain of events, ultimately ended in her being murdered by their own youngest child of four.
In my bloody, banned, and censored eulogy for my mother however, I reference several catastrophic mistakes of her life - mistakes I have since forgiven her for.
A Eulogy for my Mother, Rosemary Johnson
As many of you know my mom was murdered recently by my younger brother Devin Johnson. Police have since revealed in court that he stabbed her over 100 times, bought a plane ticket to Costa Rica after the murder attempting to flee the country, and at some point around the crime purchased bleach and paper towels at a nearby grocery store.
Marrying my father was obviously, a catastrophic mistake. It led directly to suffering domestic abuse for the following 40 years, and then literally dying from domestic violence at the hands of her own youngest son.
It’s an astoundingly tragic life and death. You could write a book about either one - her brutal life or brutal death - and yet the two events are deeply, obviously intertwined.
Getting married to my father wasn’t the only major mistake of her life though. Another is one of the mechanisms she used to drown the pain of our home life, one that my father was happy to utilize as a manipulation tool to continue the family abuse and stay out of trouble with the cops.
My mother notably was never an alcoholic or drug addict. She drank rarely, maybe at a holiday or special event, and it was only wine from my memory. She reminisced at times how her own father made wine in their cellar when she was young in New Jersey.
My mother instead drowned her pain in shopping most of my childhood.
My father was well aware of this and happy to oblige if it was necessary or useful. My mom being a stay at home wife and mother her entire life had no other source of income. She had 4 kids to take care of, a home to keep, and a husband to get beaten by.
There was one instance when I was new in highschool, the early 2000s, that was particularly obscene. It was so bad that my own mother unfriended me on Facebook in 2024 when I exposed this issue.
My dad had beaten my mom up again, a little worse than usual. She was threatening to lawyer up, divorce him, and go to the police. Not the same night, but for days and weeks later.
Sometimes he handled this by simply threatening to kill her, my grandma, aunt, me, my siblings, etc in retaliation. These threats were genuine and worked as a silencing tool.
But that wasn’t his only tool in the tool bag. He had a lot of money around this time period. He had a take home personal income of over $700k in 2001, which resulted in us moving into a brand new house he built from scratch, paid for in cash, zero mortgage.
He was in construction for decades but was not a custom home builder, so this project was unusual for him, but not entirely out of place. I was there when he personally laid the concrete foundation of the home, with the owner of the concrete company doing him a personal favor.
Rather than weaponize more violence and threats, my dad dumped $25k into my mom’s personal checking account for her to spend on whatever she wanted. “Fun money” he called it.
It was a bribe, and it worked. The threats about divorce and going to the cops immediately ended. My mom bought some new expensive furniture and other bullshit, and that was that.
I know this because my father openly gloated about this to me in private soon after when were fishing.
This wasn’t the first time he had done this either, it was just the most explicit and the largest cash bribe he had ever done with her. I had seen my father spend equivalent amounts of money on week long fishing trips we would take with his friends to the Florida keys in his yacht around this time period - so it was not even surprising.
When I say '“catastrophic mistakes” then about my mom, I really mean it. My father was responsible for bribing her after beating her up, sure. She was also responsible for accepting it.
She could have easily accepted this money, ran to a lawyer, and gotten herself and children to safety.
My brother Devin wasn’t being beaten yet around this time period. That was still a few years out. But I was. Badly. Just like her. We lived in a constant state of terror.
My good friend and psychology guru Richard Grannon once described this specific bribery event to me as a “total failure of maternal instinct”.
He’s right of course, sadly.
My mom wouldn’t be the first wife in history to use shopping and spending as a soothing mechanism to drown the pain, shame, and guilt away. It just sucks. It sucked for her and her kids. Especially my brother and I.
Our sisters were always in danger being raised in this environment, and are domestic survivors by exposure and observation. It’s ruined their lives more or less. But they were never actually beaten, so their experience of our family life was fundamentally different.
Our parents had an unspoken deal about beating the girls. It was forbidden. There is no doubt in my mind my mom would have literally died before allowing him to beat the girls even once.
Likewise, in his own twisted traditionalism, I believe he viewed it as unmanly and excessively cruel to beat his own daughters. This was never articulated by him but it’s my best conclusion based on what I knew of him, his personality, and beliefs.
He held no such reservations about beating his wife and sons.
Obviously I had a difficult relationship with my mom growing up from decisions like this. My brother did too.
Look how he handled it.
/s/ Anthony Dream Johnson