How to Hate Your Father ✏️
An extreme guide to healing your masculinity and blood line
My father was a brutally violent alcoholic and domestic abuser from about 1983 until nearly the day he died in April of 2023 (he was arrested twice just days before his death for domestic violence crimes). He beat my mother, myself, and my little brother without mercy during that time span with closed fists.
While I’ve written about that before and will continue to do so in detail - I have a major project to announce soon regarding just that - today’s essay is more about how I healed my own masculinity and achieved escape velocity from this American nightmare.
People lately have been asking me how I turned out so differently from my siblings. The Johnson crime family arrest record is pretty stunning and has recently escalated to murder by stabbing. And not just any stabbing, my mother was strangled and stabbed to death over 100 times. Something psychologists call overkill.
By comparison, I’ve spent most of my life as an entrepreneur, public speaker, and polarizing civil rights advocate for men and fathers. My criminal record doesn’t exist.
Yet my own little brother now faces life in prison or death pending the outcome of his criminal trial for the murder of our mother. The difference in outcome of children from the same family could not be wider, and the domestic violence issues are not unique to him in our family - he is one of several domestic abusers.
Unraveling how my life and masculinity have turned out so different is a big subject that is going to extend well beyond this essay. However, there is one thing that stands above all I want to address today.
A unique psychological stance I developed that all three of my siblings (two sisters and one brother) have unanimously and aggressively rejected, to their own detriment. This rejection further is not unique to them. They did what most children do who survive ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) this severe. Which is to say they followed the same social script that all normies follow - to their doom.
Rather than go with the flow like a dead fish floating down the river, I did the exact opposite and swam in a different direction, against the grain of culture and propaganda.
I learned how to hate my father with a calm, unapologetic, relentless intensity and focus. I hate him absolutely in other words and to the maximum extent possible.
On the day of his death April 28th 2023 I celebrated his death openly right here on this newsletter and social media with a simple “Good riddance".
I’ve been even more explicit since the death of my mother, publicly stating that my mother died the death my father deserved.
In fact the very first thing I told my brother in jail was : “Hey bro, I love you. Mom didn’t deserve this, but dad did. I wish you had killed him instead.”
A lot of people might think of me as a monster for saying that, yet I stand by it completely and proudly. It’s a statement of moral virtue, truth, and justice.
It’s also a statement that takes extreme courage to say openly. Big balls of steel the size of coconuts. As you might guess, I condemn in the strongest terms possible the absolutely brazen pussies many men are today. I have an even lower view of cowardly women who keep beta male sheep in line with normie garbage. These women are the enforcers who keep their beta males fat and low in testosterone.
Further in my experience I find most people - most normies - have no idea what a monster truly is anyway. You’ve met violent psychopaths and other dangerous personalities plenty of times in your life yet had no idea.
You’ve stood behind child predators and murderers in line at the grocery store dozens of times in your life. You may have said a quick “thanks” as they let you cut in line with just a few items. How nice.
And you had no idea who the person really was behind the social mask.
Unlike me you don’t know how to eat pain for breakfast, suffering for lunch, and rage for dinner. How could you? You never had to. And no cold showers don’t count, same for tanning your balls.
With all this in mind, I want to stress something that I believe most people miss in my unorthodox yet sincere zealotry against my father. While my heart and bones are filled with just hatred, I was a boy once and I loved my father completely. Learning to hate him with such fire was both intentional, absolutely critical to my development as a man, and the most difficult journey I’ve ever completed in life.
It is a journey that sadly, most children will never go on, even when it is absolutely necessary, healthy, rational, and just. Even when it is in every sense the right thing to do in response to evil and abuse.
This is the big secret to why I am not a violent criminal, a psychopath, a murderer, and went in the complete opposite direction of my entire family of origin.
99% of kids who suffer the degree of violence and abuse I suffered will not turn out like me. As my old friend and psychology guru Richard Grannon once said to me “Mate, I’m amazed you aren’t dead, in jail, or living under a bridge injecting needles into your arm”.
My father was a wicked man who committed acts of relentless violence and evil against his own family. He basically created a small cult of personality. I am viewed unanimously as a traitor and usurper for rejecting the cult and exposing the truth.
People keep asking me on social media why I didn’t do more to protect my mom. Bro it’s been 1 vs. 5 for about 15 years now. My own mother unfriended me on Facebook for simply exposing this crap - even basic details.
The level of silence, shame, aggression, and irrationality surrounding domestic violence issues is absolutely profound. I’m of the view currently that the most powerful drug addiction in human history is domestic violence itself, both for the abuser and the victims.
The unholy cocktail of conflicting emotions, instincts, and brain chemicals it generates is legendary. You will NEVER see human beings more irrational in your life than people clinging to domestic violence relationships.
The abuser would rather die than end the beatings, and the victims would rather die than end the relationships.
I didn’t just reject brain washing and a micro-cult though, I had to also reject thousands of years of woo woo bullshit that permeates western culture and values. Honor your father and mother. Okay well, do they deserve honor and respect? If not, then what do they deserve?
Forgiveness is another poisonous concept that has been used to cuck most people. Forgiveness like everything else in this world has to be based on reality, has to be just and fair for it to mean anything. Not infinite or arbitrary.
Which is exactly how these principles are abused and propagated. Forgiveness without apology, honor without virtue, redemption without action. You should never forgive the unforgiveable.
It’s all nonsense and Christians are particularly guilty for spreading these highly irrational lies. “Because god said so” is not a reason for anything, it is simply ancient nonsense cooked up by smelly goat fuckers in the desert.
I forgave my mother in death because it became obvious that her actions were mistakes. Catastrophic mistakes of the highest degree, but mistakes none the less. She carried no evil in her heart that I ever witnessed.
I cannot say the same of my father. My hatred of him is necessary. A necessary good, not a necessary evil, because there are no necessary evils. Even so that hatred is a genuine tragedy, just like my mom’s life and death, just like my brother’s life and future.
When I was a boy my dad was the biggest strongest man in the world. I loved and admired him completely. To have that love beaten out of me inch by inch was the most emotionally brutal experience of my life.
People have been wondering why I’m not more devasted by the murder of my mother. They’ve complimented me on what they view as emotional resilience, which is true and I appreciate it.
The truth is though, my own father murdered my love and respect for him a long time ago. One fist after another slamming into my head. That love dying out was a more brutal death to experience first hand.
That’s why I encourage all my readers to stop beating their fucking kids.
In summary, you need to respond to people in a way that is proportional and rational. The more serious or severe the issue at hand, the more critical it becomes that you stay focused on reality. Inversely it becomes exponentially more difficult to stay focused like this when blood relationships are on the line, and in particular your relationship with your creators, mom and dad.
Almost all of western culture is opposed to children - even adult children - holding their parents accountable for abuse. Even severe abuse, even when it’s well documented.
On the flip side, most of you have parents that deserve your love and respect. In fact a lot of you have mothers and fathers you should love and respect a lot more before they are dead. It’s the few of you that don’t that need to hear this message and move against the grain.
People with even half way decent parents, even kind of shitty parents, have a really hard time to understanding any of this. They have no frame of reference to understand domestic abuse, criminals, and psychopathology at this level. It’s all very distant to them, stuff they see only in movies and news articles.
Evil from a parent towards a child is particularly cruel and heinous. Which is exactly why my little brother’s crime was so gruesome and extreme. Decades of abuse and repressed rage, never directed at the abuser, only focused internally at self-destruction, finally exploding into bloodshed and matricide.
My brother never learned to hate our father, and now his life is over because of it.
/s/ Anthony Dream Johnson